The year that was...

Its past midnight. I sit across my beloved laptop scratching my head thinking of something to write about. Its not that I don't have any topics to write about. But I don't think today is the time for them. Lets say I just have a little more research to do on them. I always wanted to do those no-backspace-used-random-ramblings. So why not try one today?

Today is the last day of the year...

The year 2009...

Broken hearts took long to mend,

Congested networks took ages to send,

Politicians did all but pretend,

But tell me does it matter in the end?

Leaders were known more for their scandals,

Target practice was done with shoes and sandles,

Crores spent on terrorists' safety (!)

Isn't it too getting much to handle?

Sportspeople confessed to cheating,

In turn their cars got the beating,

They once spoke of sporting spirit,

Now their own words they are eating.

Bollywood was a bunch of cold wars,

Film Publicity included love scars,

Millions are being earned by IDIOT stars,

Soon Yash Chopra will be shooting on Mars.

Reality TV was the biggest shame,

Cheapoz wanted a shot at fame,

Doesn't even matter who won the game,

A Year from now, will anyone even remember their name?

Rakhi Saawant was the best of em all!

Your TV set was her marriage hall,

I guess that guy wasn't man enough,

Otherwise the Suhagraat would be shot at some swanky mall.

Pink chaddies were in vogue at the top,

For some people date rape drugs did the job,

Rapes and tapes did all but stop,

These @#$%$#@ should be lynched by the mob.

Ages since School syllabuses have changed,

Most of the teachers are mentally deranged,

Atrocities in Australia will be revenged,

Sadly the CAT was totally drenched.

This year I blogged,

This year I jogged.

Although nothing gr8 happened,

I feel this year rocked.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! I DID IT!

I randomly rambled and to add to that I wrote a kickass poem! Well these two thing were the ones which I was planning to try for the whole year, but din dare to! Today being the last day of the year, blogger will start a new year from 2moro, which means this post will slip into the wilderness and wont be noticed much!

I sincerely apologise to the people who had to suffer thru this whole poem coz poems is wat I usually try to avoid (now you know why) Maybe because I have zero (-ve) poetic sense and understanding!

I promise I'm never gonna do this again!

PS: All my Blogsfolk, I am acting very busy these days, with college, class, camps and programs and stuff. So these days I'm using Google Reader to zip thru my regular blogrolled ppl. I'll soon get back to commenting whenever possible.

PPS: This does not mean you have to resort to Google Reader (which btw is quite awesome)
and just go on reading my posts without commenting!

PPPS: It fascinates me how quickly we forget things. During the writing of this post I tried to recollect the year 2009 as a whole but I could remember only the stuff that happened during the last half of the year. I had to resort to Googlegiri for the remainder.

Herez wishing all my fellow bloggers, followers and commentators a very happy, creative and writer-block-free new year ahead.

Real Virtuality?

Lately I’ve been noticing, therez a lot of blog space being devoted to Facebook, Farmville and Farmville Addiction… I must confess that I never wanted to join Facebook, coz I already had an Orkut account and most of my friends hung out at Orkut usually. Plus who had the time to juggle two social networks? But considering the hoopla that was engulfing the Farmville syndrome, I decided to take a dive into it. 


I already had about 20 friend invitations pending when I signed up for Facebook…. It took me about 2 days, 3 cups of late night coffee and hundreds of my precious megabytes allowed by Data One Broadband to finally figure out the wonder that was Facebook… 


Turning my attention to the games… I’ve always been an avid gamer (you may have noticed) and I usually don’t get bored even if the game becomes monotonous or even if it has only one level!
Now now… I’m a guy who is not addicted to anything… yes… ANYTHING! No smoking, no drinking, no drugs, NOTHING. So it pretty much pisses me off if someone nudges and tells me that I’m doing too much Time pass on the net (“You’re addicted to the net dude”) or I am always found playing games etc etc… And when I read about this whole Farmville thing, I thought, why not check it out?


So that was done… I started with Farmville, inviting neighbors, planting crops, and harvesting them from time to time… And then it started hitting me hard…. I was getting hooked! But I couldn’t stop. I tried explaining the game to my mom but she started laughing the moment I told her that you grow strawberries in 4 hours. To this day she asks me sarcastically about the strawberry thing. Shez even offerred to sell some of my produce in the local market!


Ok back to the game… I went on farming, harvesting and moving up the Agro-ladder. Then I built some Dairy Farms and Poultry units to keep my precious cows and hens. Secretly I would check the blog posts of fellow farmers in which they shared their addictions and smile to myself involuntarily.


But a week back I had the scare of my life! It happened so, I was supposed to go to Pune to attend a wedding of a friend’s bro. I decided to keep my Rolls Royce at home and travel by the State Transport bus to experience nature first hand… The route was through mountains and typical rural terrain… After catching up on my dear, priceless sleep, I woke up to the countryside… The sun had started to shine as everyday and half sleepy, half awake, I glanced at the view I saw outside. It was a farm. Not just that, it was blooming with ripe grains. A though crossed my mind, “hey! Just like Farmville” *smiles again unknowingly*


But then a strange thing happened, as soon as the bus passed the next farm, this big strange steel sickle appearing in front of me. (The one that the cursor changes into when the crop is ready) It was like asking me to harvest the crop. I could see the number of coins and XP I was gonna gain after harvesting it! I jolted back to my senses. Was I going crazy? Hallucinating? What was happening to me? I mean I won’t deny the fact that previous night I had planted artichokes (harvest in 4 days) considering that I wouldn’t be able to harvest anything when I was in Pune. But is it enough to call me addicted? I looked around to see that the uncle besides me was staring at my face since the time I was smiling to myself (“iska jaroor kuch chakkar hoga”) Rather than addressing his suspicions; I decided to listen to some music and switched on my Music Player. (Thank god I’m not into country music.) Just when I was about to close my eyes, a Hay Bale sped across my window. Instantly an inner voice started shouting “5 XP! 5 XP!”


I was like, “What the hell is happening to me? Am I so much into Farmville that I’m seeing it everywhere?” Is this what people call love?
Thankfully the journey ended soon and I went to the marriage and got back to my normal sane state of mind. But it was one hell of an experience!


PS: While typing this post I have fertilized the crops of about 15 neighbors.

Today...

Its been 4+ months since I've been in this exhilarating world of blogging and I must say I feel at home already. Frankly speaking I'd never expected that my blog would have so many followers and further still I never dreamed I'd get such cool comments and encouragement from fellow bloggers who have come a long way, their minds ignited, their brains buzzing and finger tapping like crazy (on the keyboard of course)

*Recite in a Hollywood War Movie Inspiration Speech Tone*

So Today 

I take this pledge 

to visit the blog 

of each and every of my follower/commentator 

and thank them 

for being the sweethearts that they are. 

To remind them 

that they will be valued forever. And to request them to check out all my further posts.

*Trumpets and loud applause*

PS: I quit my job this week and I am happy about it. The reasons being:

1. Due to the "recession" there was no work going on on site due to which the only 'experience' I got was Dirty Politics, Bitching, and playing the blame game (at Olympic level)

2. I got my exams coming close. So gotta study for that.

3. Read Point 1 again

I am happy about it because this is the same company who had kicked me out (and later called me back) due to recession which gave me ample time to compile my blogging ideas. This time I realized what Rihanna meant when she said "Revenge is Sweet"

I hope history repeats itself and, this free time period gives me better ideas to blog about. Cheers to that!

Boomerang

This is just a conversation I had this morning. Like majority of my conversations, it was done through the gift of SMS.

As usual, me and the Gulab Jamun Gal spend a lot of time talking about our fitness missions (more talking, less doing) and how stunning we gonna look after the whole fitness mission is completed (which maybe eons away).

Gulab Jamun Gal: My uncle's wedding tomorrow. I've applied mehendi. People are getting Super Shocked!
Me: Jyada Sundar and sensual dikhegi to you'll steal the spotlight away from the bride. Lol
GJG: You and I are the best Maals re! Spotlight to mujhpar hona hi hai!
Me: Tu to Yoga Babe hai re. The spotlight wouldn't dare leave you. Chal me going for bath now. Have to shave too. Must look my charming best na!
GJG: Yup dude. You are the showstopper! Go wow the world. *Check myself in the mirror, feeling gooooood*

Me: You are the queen of flattery. *Hoping for another compliment in return*

GJG: Na Na... I am the queen of Sarcasm! *STRIKE OUT*

All in a Day's Work

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 5; the fifth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Fiction 55

He made up his mind. He was gonna demand a raise. After-all he had worked his ass off these 3 years. Given better output. Plus he was clean. He adjusted his tie and started for the Boss' cabin. He met Boss halfway. "Sorry Rajat, Recession time. We have to let you go." 

 

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

55-er #4

I pass this house everyday, with a goat roaming in the compound. Shez quite friendly and always eager to play. We have become good friends now. Everyday I pat her head and she nudges me in return, wishing me a good day at work. But today shez nowhere to be found...














Eid Mubarak!

Luck-jury

Recently I had the opportunity of traveling in a so called “Luxury” bus which was introduced during the Asian games a few years back. Now travelling in a state transport bus is not exactly was you would call “Luxurious” coz the journey is anything but that! But considering the red colored “Normal” buses that usually ply on majority of the routes, this one is definitely better! It has 2 x 2 seats and better cushions. And that’s all what differentiates luxury from normalcy.

I kept thinking about this during the whole journey and I concluded that "Luxury" is a very realtive term. On one hand there is this shabby bus that we call Luxurious and on the other there are people roaming in tailor made Rolls Royce with push-button amenities that would make even private jets blush.

For example a simple TV is a necessity for some people who can't even dream of spending a day without gossipping about Roadies, a comfort for people who barely get time to watch news and a luxury for people who haven't seen electricty light up their house in the past.

Luxury is...

• ... Getting a place to sit in the damn bus when you've been standing all life trying to feel the presence of your limbs.
• ... Watching a Cricket match without the ads ruining the replays and first ball of each over.
• ... Getting a clear reception of all FM Channels when you've become used to the static and you hear it even after turning off the radio!
• ... Riding down a calm, pothole free road when you've spent all life counting the bones in your body rattling.
• ... Getting a breath of fresh air when the acidic smoke at signals corrodes your nostrils
• ... Making a 10 minute call without any disconnections and network errors.
• ... Getting the second roti served in restaurants  before the first one ends.
• ... Not having to wait in lines for ANYTHING.
• ... Getting all signals green when you have to reach home early (and otherwise)!
• ... Getting all work done without having to bribe everyone from the chapraasi to the Saab.
• ... Waking up on a Sunday morning to Coffee and Sunday Times.
• ... Breathing freely and not getting crushed while struggling to get Ganesh Darshan at Lalbaug.
• ... Simply having access to broadband when you've spend half your life hearing the clash/bang/trrrrrring of dial up.
• ... Actually getting the download speeds that the ISP boasts.
• ... Knowing that your friends care for you even though you don't have time to stay in touch.
• ... Realising that the beautiful chick you're talking to is smart too.
• ... Not having stupid telemarketers call you when you really need to sleep
• ... Not losing your unsaved work when the computer reboots due to power failure.
• ... Not being stuck behind a snail-speed bus which feeds you generous amounts of dust on the single lane road to office.
• ... Just for once having all the staff of SBI smiling at you and seeming obliged to help you.
• ... Knowing that the water temperature is just right when you enter the swimming pool.

 I could go on and on like this... But I'd appreciate your contribution too. So add some points of your own in the comments if you please.

Luxury or not, we all seem to want it desperately... And fast. Like its said (by me) - "You want wants, You need needs"

Plus lets face it. Its human tendency to get the best and not rest till we get the best. No wonder we are never happy and contented.

From Stuff I Learnt Today

Justice Prevails...

I am damn happy today!

Not the "Sooraj Barjatiya - All's well that ends well" type of happy, but more like the "Devilish - Revenge - Someone got screwed" kinda happy!

It goes like this. I happen to work at this cool tourism development / construction company that is located in a forest area near my place. Now its not very easy to get good people (like Yours Truly) to come from cities and work in jungles. So I have to put up with all kinds of people during my working time.

Out of these people is this dude - Mr. Laidback. Damn just the thought of him gets my fists clentched, digging into my own flesh. Well this guy has got the job as a favor to his dad who happens to work in some Govt. Office (I hate when undeserving people get the cream). But does that mean his father owns the place? HELL NO! He does act like he does. 

Firstly this guy has no sense of responsibility. There is no one on site who would think of handing him a job without fearing that he'd mess it up.

Secondly he doesn't take advice from ANYONE. Dunno why he feels that he knows everything (He doesn't) and has the right to take his own decisions.

Thirdly therez no commitment. There hasn't been a single day that he has stayed after work to complete important stuff or things that come up unexpectedly.

All these things make my blood boil underneath with rage. More considering the fact that no one cares that his contribution to the output of the company is a big fat Zero. Just when I was losing faith in the "Do good and good will be done to you" dictum, I heard that the boss summoned him to the office. He was just back from a long vacation leave, which he had left on without even informing the office. And then the fireworks began. There was shouting and screaming and OMG there was swearing too! I had a wicked devilish smile on my lips, my prayers answered! I turned into a Believer instantly.


The Boss was all over him. He told our Hero to submit a report of the work hez done in the last six months (Blank!) and told him rather sternly that its gonna be tougher in the future (The tougher, the better).


To add to it all, the guy requested me to draft a letter to apologize to the boss coz his English is not very good. I obliged with a sympathetic face!


Now I'm back to normal. Neither sad, nor joyous but slightly contented.

From gen

Game for Game?

Recently I've been getting these "Personality Test" mails. They supposedly have a program that will tell you what you are, what you do, what you want, etc etc on basis of some selected moronic intelligent questions. Now I've been trying this stuff all the time. I don't even remember what the test says after closing the program. Heck I don't even remember what my Horoscope said this morning!

Funny thing is that usually these programs tell so much good stuff about you that its impossible to deny them! Considering all the flash programs I've run, I am Bold, Shy, Introvert, Funny, Invincible, Charming, Cool, Smart, Confident, etc etc...

While thinking about this whole idea, it dawned upon me... "How hard is it to make a stupid bluddy interesting personality test?" All you need is Common Sense! So I went on and made one right away! The first obstacle was the BASIS of the Psycho Analysis... People have so far judged me from the clothes I wear, The pets I keep, The way I sleep, Hech even the nostril I breathe thru! So I needed something silly but common enough to make my analysis!

As I jabbed my fingers repeatedly on the keyboard to prevent my Ford Eclipse from ramming into the curb, the thought struck me..... NEED FOR SPEED! What better way to judge a person than the kind of games he plays. Including all and various genres of Games would be a tough and time taking job for me (Did I mention I was Lazy?) So I'm gonna stick to NEED FOR SPEED Underground (AT least now)

Now Now... What kind of person are you? What should you be? and More importantly, What should you not be? Herez a list!

Based on the type of Race you Play:

Circuit Racing: Its racing in a closed circuit for a fixed number of laps.

You Are : Always trying to do things better. You don't mind repeating things if they are gonna turn out better. You don't get tired of the monotonous routine. In Fact you try to constantly reinvent yourself.

You Should Be : A Newspaper editor, Magazine Editor

You Shouldn't Be : A Barber (Coz the whole town will look the same)

Sprint Racing : Its racing from Point A to Point B. No repeating.

You are : Bindass and Happy Go Lucky. You live life as it comes and don't care much about the future. You love to work out your way rather than trade on experience.

You Should Be : Fighter Pilot, Teacher

You Shouldn't Be : A Speech Writer for some old Politician

Drag Racing : Its racing in a straight line where more emphasis is placed on shifting gears rather than on changing directions.

You are : Frank, Straightforward, Intense, Focused. You can see the goal that you have aimed for and you will do anything to achieve. You maybe cunning and block others lane path

You Should Be : Derby Jockey, Sprint Racer, Athlete.

You Shouldn't be : Politician (You gotta keep an eye on everyone), Goalkeeper, Strategist

Drift Racing : This is nothing but showing off your skills by drifting the car on a closed circuit track. The sharper you drift, the more points you get.

You are : Attention Grabber. You like to be the center of attraction. You like to hog the limelight constantly. You usually undergo Tummy Tucks, nose jobs, face lifts etc to keep up your face value. You are too conscious

You Should Be : Film Star, TV Star

You Shouldn't Be : Anybody's Assistant (In case you steal the attention), Accountant (Coz in Accounts they look for a different figure)

Lap Knockout : This is same like Circuit Race, But at the end of each lap, the last car is eliminated. Race continues till only one driver remains.

You are : Gruesome, Ruthless, Cunning. You only have victory in your sight and you'll do anything to get it. You don't care about eliminating  others from the rat race. You use and throw.

You Should be : A Politician, Assassin, Secret Agent

You Shouldn't be : A Public Servant, Doctor

Free Run :  This is basically a cruise around the town. There are no objectives, no targets, no timers. You just have to go around the place and roam around

You are : 1. A Loser. You don't like challenges. You fear to face life and its difficulties. You would rather live in the cheat coded world. 2. Or maybe you have too much money that you can't finish spending alone.

You should be : Dead in the first case or my best friend in the second case.

You Shouldn't be : Who Cares! Come on..... Lets find a way to spend that Cash!

Fiction 55 (3)

He felt defeated. He knew he had to save the day After all the efforts he had put in, all the pain he had suffered, these people didn’t give a damn. All his efforts wasted. He was fully exhausted. But He has to go on and do his duty. After all he is Sachin Tendulkar!






This struck me when India lost the match inspite Sachin scoring 175 runs. This shows that the team expects him to stick it out till the end if he wants to take credit for Man of the Match. Also I wont miss the chance of smirking at the 80000 FANS who bought Tickets for the game at to be held at Vashi considering the fact that Australia KO'd us and clinched the series.
Reminds me of a conversation...


Mr. Confident : Dude you want tickets for the game at vashi? I got kool passes from my company.
Me : Lets see if India stays in the series. I'l decide after that.
Mr. C : C'mon man... We gonna win. And the Vashi one too! (So much for Optimism)
Me : Dude I'l tell you later. I'll have to arrange the cash too... For the tickets.
Mr. C : You better do it fast. The tickets have been sold out on the first day itself! (Achievement?)
Me : I'll let you know as soon as possible.
*CLICK*

After the Ill Fated Match
Mr. C : Dude Wats up?
Me : Roflol
Mr. C : Very Funny
Me : lol lol lol lol
Mr. C : The bright side is that you need not arrange the cash. Coz we're getting them free!
Me : loling so much that *CLICK*

Mission impausable

I guess I'm on a Blogging Spree!!! All that stuff I had planned to write while my Broadband was down is oozing out of by brain!

Me and a friend have started a fitness mission from next week today. Shez into Yoga, I'm into... ummm..... errrrr....... jogging I guess. I dunno, mainly I'm into Sleep!

Now we have agreed to keep a watch on each otherz routines so that neither will go astray and/or neither will blame the other if we end up losing our minds rather than weight!

This Morning:

Gulab Jamun Gal : Hie Good Morn. Finally aaj se yoga shuru hua mera... Hoping for more improvements in myself... (like telling the truth for a change) Gd Day!

Me : Me too woke up early today! (No sign of any workout) Today we begin our tryst with a fitter destiny! And months later we'll emerge slimmer, fitter, better creatures!Cheers to That!

GJ: Hehehe... Yup. We will emerge Stronger, sexier & saucier & hope to see a better you and me... in clothes of smaller sizes... Atleast the mirror wont shy from fitting us into him lolz

Me: We could get a larger mirror! But I'm fighting till the end! And later celebrate our success with some sugar free gulab jamuns!

GJ: Yup Our fight is with the mirror. we wont give up. The sugar free Gulab Jamuns & Choc Cake is our final destination. We will reach there soon. Few months to go :-)

Now that the Oath has been taken, I just hope these months don't turn into years like most of our Govt. Projects!

Untitled

Finally my Broadband is alive again! Well I use Dataone Broadband. So I have to depend on the phone lines and Dear God for a good connectivity. Dunno what went wrong with both last week. Some idiot contractor (I heard) was trying to repair the road. Till date I’ve never heard the words “road” and “repair” in the same sentence in our village before. Now I know why!

So this guy come with a huge JCB and starts to dig the road and ends up snapping most of the telephone lines in half! Well done I say, now I don’t have to worry bout my colleagues calling and irritating me with idiotic computer related questions. (“This PC is not starting, this page is not printing only re, The PC says I’m a Moron! What should I do?”)

But then it dawned upon me suddenly… No Phone = No Internet! OMG I was in a fix, din know what to do, how to survive! But I guess I scraped through it alright. Well now its back on and the officer from BSNL personally called me up to tell me the good news! Now I have lotsa mail to check, lotsa blogs to read, lotsa stuff to comment upon.

Herez a mail that I got from a friend

A black man talks to a white man:

 When I was born I was black,
 When I grew up I was black,
 When I'm sick I'm black,
 When I go in the sun I'm black,
 When I'm cold I'm black,
 When I die I'll be black.

 But you:
 When you're born you're pink,
 When you grow up you're white,
 When you're sick, you're green,
 When you go in the sun you turn red,
 When you're cold you turn blue,
 and when you die you turn purple.

 And you have the nerve to call me colored!!!


Quite something to ponder over ainit?



Well herez something else I found out. I hate it when people send stupid stuff and then they have the stupid guts to ask me forward it to my stupid friends! What Stupidity! Well forward this you psychos or face my wrath!

Check the Link below

forward this

Fiction 55 (2)

She was scared, almost terrified. But she needed to do it. She wanted to. He reassured that he would be very gentle on her. This was her first time. This could ruin her life. She was too drunk to object. He waited. She finally said "let's do it". And on buzzed the Tattoo Gun.

Fiction 55 #1

She had her seductive gaze on me. She always got what she wanted. She walked to me in her sensuous swagger, licking her lips and purred her demand into my ear. Who was I to object? I was too eager to oblige rather than face her wrath. I immediately put forward her bowl of Cat Food.

The Great Indian Tamaasha!

Ahh... Its election time again, the time when everything changes drastically. The winds blow in the random motion. The Sun revolves around the earth. The rulers become rulees! Rivers change courses and flow into different oceans. Suddenly the Common Man becomes an all important entity that has to be pleased with offerings of visits, speeches, promises, bribes and some ego polishing.

I wish all politicians were bloggers. The kind of imagination they possess is unfathomable. It would be fascinating to read what plans they have for the future (plans = only plans and are not related in any way to the concept of completing them)

Back to the Topic. The election is a great Tamasha of extra-ordinary proportions, greater than any Indo-Pak cricket match, Yash Raj movie, KBC episode or any grand marriage ever.
Maybe because it involves everyone from a farmer to an industrialist who are a part of this DEMOCRACY of ours.
A nice thing about democracy is that the value of a vote of a multi-billionaire is equal to the value of a vote of a bankrupt suicidal farmer. Its one of those things that bridge the massive economic divide of our vast country.

It is time for Prachaar Sabhas and huge shows of power. I notice never-seen-before people in tide-ki-safedi clothes (trying to hide their dark intentions) walking all across my town and meeting random people. Suddenly everyone is familiar to them and there are lots and lots of namastes and handshakes (enough for a Guinness Records).

Watching this brings a smile on my lips - a pitiful smile. I smile at our own stupidity. How easily we get swept by the people in power. How quickly we idolize them by sidetracking our own principles. Some people can recollect the same scenario 5 years back when they were given superstar status and then later were ignored for 5 long years. I guess the common man is optimistic. He would rather prefer the 5 minutes of affection than nothing at all.

Then comes the times of the mass meetings. Each fellow talks about the stuff the ruling fellow couldn't do. Maybe it is the Ekta Kapoor effect. She makes you feel better by showcasing other people's lives as more miserable than yours. The way these people talk, I can't see any spark in them for development. They are excellent critics, but sadly they are nothing else. I personally feel if you are a good critic, you should always stay as the opposition. Coz that is what they do for a living!

The ruling party makes promises to promise what other parties haven't promised. I wonder whether the word promise has anything to do with the word comPROMISE.
Newspapers analyze anything and everything possible. There is so much information to digest, that the voter fears indigestion and prefers to go on a vacation on Election Day! Ignorance is bliss truly!

Some educated, responsible voters do try to come forward and put up their demands (maybe it is a gimmick to try to be seen on TV or newspaper). It is a difficult guess whether these demands will be even remembered after the elections, let alone met! But people are nonetheless very enthu coz this is the only time when they get to be heard! Why not make the most of it?

All in all, the elections are the Great Indian Tamasha that has every Indian playing a part and which entertains the world. All Hail - The lords of Democracy!


I've just turned 21 and this time I'll be having the honor of voting in the elections. So I've prepared a list of demands (not a publicity gimmick) which are a bit different from the basic roti kapda makaan stuff that is available in wholesale these days. Here goes :

1. I want to wake up to clear sunshine everyday. No clouds in the morning. I dunno how you're gonna do it, but do it.

2. I don't mind some loadshedding provided I have battery backup to all my gadgets round the clock.

3. No rains when I'm out please. Otherwise invent rainwear that will actually keep me totally dry in the torrential Konkan rains.

4. All students should be allowed to call for an off lecture every week decided by show of hand. (Democracy)

5. A pothole free road should be created for emergency travel. The potholed one should be kept too... It is like adventure sports!

6. All govt. offices must be customer friendly. The average amount of bribe taken by an officer must be displayed alongside his nameplate so that helpless customers need not be confused about paying more or less than what he deserves.

7. The percentage of reservations for all castes regarding jobs, education etc should be determined by a lucky draw every year so that people belonging to open category like me can blame my "good marks but jobless status" on luck.

8. The internet should be made free to all. I am ready to pay whatever BSNL asks for a good, secure, fast connection but I must be given the liberty to deduct Rs. 10 every time it disconnects and I lose my work/downloads/concentration/sanity.

9. Mobile Phone plans should be made easy to understand and should come with warnings like “you’re being robbed”, “you should change your provider”, “you deserve a landline” etc.

10. There should be a liberal import policy regarding games, consoles, computer stuff etc.

11. People who choose to stay in their native places and not migrate to cities (like me) should be given loyalty bonus.

12. Lastly, everyone must be allowed to outsource his/her job responsibilities to others!

While reading all the above points, I realized that the above stuff is only possible…












If I BECOME A FRIGGIN POLITICIAN!

See you at the Polling Booth!

TAGGED OMG!

Fine day today! Lets just start… I am a n00b to the blogging world. A huge portion of it is still unexplored and I am trying to cover as much as I can in the little time that I have. I was introduced to blogging by the Blogger community on orkut (too lazy to insert the link). When I started surfing various blogs, I noticed many of them had a common post named “TAGGED” It was like passing on a blog slambook to fellow bloggers so they can fill it up and post it in their own blogs and pass it on (TAG) further.

Frankly speaking I was fascinated by the whole ordeal and thought of it as peeves of popular bloggers. But secretly I used to yearn for the day I would be tagged. I knew it was not easy to interest interesting people to take interest in my blog just to get myself tagged! But I chose to wait… And today the day has come when two out of my millions of follower have tagged me (maybe because they ran out of people to tag or maybe they’ve tagged everyone possible already)
But it gives me great pleasure to declare that I have been TAGGED! (Smiles, waits for flashbulbs and applause)



RULE 1 - You can only say Guilty or Innocent.
RULE 2 - You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone messages you and asks!
RULE 3 - Copy and paste this into your notes, delete mine and type in your answers and tag your friends to answer this.

As I descend from a Yorokuraba Tribe, RULE 2 doesn’t apply to me!
So here goes…


Asked someone to marry you. Innocent
I seriously doubt that galz would take me seriously if I asked them about marriage…

Ever kissed someone of the same sex. Innocent
Yucks who invented this wicked questionnaire?

Danced on a table in a bar? Innocent
I live in a village. No bar. If bar then no Table. If table then no me. If me then no dance.

Ever told a lie? Guilty
Countless times to keep the world goin…

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Innocent

Kissed a picture? Guilty
Gosh!

Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty
High on Bhang on Holi Day

Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty/Guilty
Zzzzz……

Held a snake? Guilty

Been suspended from school? Innocent
I manifested some “sincere boy” qualities

Worked at a fast food restaurant? Innocent

Stolen from a store? Innocent

Been fired from a job? Guilty
Blame the recession! But now they’ve called me back! (Re-recession)

Done something you regret? Guilty
I regret staying up to write this. Gonna sleep in college 2moro!

Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty
Water usually

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Innocent
Village in Maharashtra… No Snowflakes

Kissed in the rain? Innocent
Village… No one to kiss.

Sat on a roof top? Guilty
More “stuck” than “sat”

Kissed someone you shouldn't? Guilty
You shouldn’t try to kiss a hungry dog whoz just been given food in order to impress your frnz

Sang in the shower? Guilty
Sang/Bellowed/Screamed/Whistled/Hummed/Rapped 2!

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Guilty
I am a swimming coach. It happens regularly

Shaved your head? Innocent

Had a boxing membership? Innocent
Village again… No Boxing

Made a girlfriend cry? Innocent
No Woman, No Cry

Been in a band? Innocent
Village! Band? As in Music Band?

Shot a gun? Guilty
I shot a gun with another gun coz it was trying to kill a helpless knife.

Donated Blood? Not Guilty but Proud
I do good things for a change too

Eaten alligator meat? Innocent

Eaten cheesecake? Innocent
Ahem! Village… Cheese? Cake?

Still love someone you shouldn’t? Innocent

Have/had a tattoo? Innocent
Pierced my ear though

Liked someone, but will never tell who?
Never Ever!

Been too honest? Guilty

Ruined a surprise? Guilty

Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn’t walk afterwards? Innocent

Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty

Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Innocent
I wanna know whoz interested in knowing this…

Joined a pageant? Innocent
Lol Village….. Pageant! or Peasant?

Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty
I hope she totally meant it.

Had communication with your ex? Innocent
No X, Y or Z

Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent
I don’t drink

Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Innocent
I said I don’t drink



Now that I’m done with the grilling, I am supposed to TAG other people. I would have, but both my fellas Sorcerer and Yemiledu have already been tagged and I can’t dare tag them again and end up losing two of my valuable followers! Lolz
So case dismissed, dissolved and resolved. Anyone who wants to know where a TAG chain ends, this is it!

Ad-Mad World

Its midnight and I'm wide awake... Unlike the dreaded writers block, right now I can think of lots and lots of stuff to post about. But lets just stick to the most explicit one...

Like most literate ppl, I love reading the newspaper for hours at end. I am one of those who becomes a little uneasy if the news is not on my breakfast table during tea. I simply love to while away my morning reading all and any kind of news (especially if my mom asks me to help with the chores, I develop an increased interest in the world) ;-)

Now I am totally aware that the Mumbai Mirror or the DNA does not run on the measly Rs. 2.50 that I pay everyday to suck up all that is goin around in the world. Heck I think it doesn't even cover the transport cost. So I guess the main source of income for these dailies is Advertisments. Plus they have to pay for the defamation suits that are filed for any wrong information printed by mistake. (Thank God Rakhi Sawant does not have that much legal sense!)

Every day I greedily grab the paper and instead of finding Bold, Large Font Headlines there is an stupid advertisment of some stupid insurance company making my future prosperous or a stupid construction company showing a tower which hasn't even been built (and when built, I wont even dream of buying it) staring back at me. OMG it enrages me so much! But what can I do? I can't tear it up... What is the problem with these people? I mean HEADLINES are supposed to be HEADLINES! You can't insult them by allotting them Page 2!!!!!! Do I buy the newspaper to see a frigging ad on the first page? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

The same thing for the last page. I go through the whole thing discussing some of the items with whoever is besides me (including the dogs who don't care less) skipping the classified section (with the weird friendship clubs "models, air hostesses, housewives" as I don need them right now (the classifieds! lol), enjoying the cartoons and stuff, and thinking the newspaper is comin to an end. I flip to the last page and AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH another ad! They just wasted two important pages of my life!

I will never forgive them. Today I urge all cool people reading this post to not buy any goods or services from the people who put their ads on the first page! This ought to teach them a lesson!

----------------------------------------------------------

There was once a time when we would locate an ad in context of the news item it was placed besides. These days its vice verse. (Dude did you check the news between the Samsung and the Electrolux ads? Therez gonna be a blackout due to high consumption by appliances!) Ironic!

On Dassera day I literally had to search news item from between the ads. For a moment I thought the MIRROR and VIJAY Sales was owned by the same person. They had a half page ad on almost every page! I wonder why they call it NEWSpaper! It should be ADSpaper!

Hussssssshhhhhhhh! I feel better now. Blogging is an cool way to vent your anger. Ans so is gaming!

Here is another game that I was playing and its damn interesting (not for the Physics Challenged)

Warp-Shot

Do try it out.

Till Death Do Us Part

Its drizzling again. I am sitting in my room thinking of something to do. I stare out of my window at the dull sky which clearly expresses its mood. The wind is cool and sometimes brings a refreshing spray into the room. Its almost evening but the sun is on a sick leave making the atmosphere feverish.

I look out of my window. There she is. Sitting in her balcony. All by herself. Thinking about him. Thinking about all the time she spent with him. Wondering what she is doing here, alone, without him alongside her as he had always been. Her eyes are fixed at the stream of water flowing on the road, suggesting she is deep in thought. She hadn't planned for this. She'd never imagined it to end like this.

I call her AJI (marathi for nani). Its a month since AJOBA (grandfather/nana) passed away. They have been our neighbors for as long as I know. They were the kind of couple which made you think of the phrase "Made for Each Other". There was no AJI without AJOBA and vice versa.

They'd had a normal arranged marriage. He had been a civil servant and she a housewife and they had lived a pretty normal life. But the love they had for each other was visible from each and every thing they did. Mind you it wasn't like the fake care that couples show in front of others. We were amazed at how compatible they were.

They would share the chores of the house as no one else lived with them. Their daughters visited often tho. The only event of us meeting, was when my mother would ask me to give them something she had cooked for them.

Summing it up, they lived in a world of their own. Fulfilled and contended, enjoying the process of growing old together.

One day it changed. The culprit was cancer. AJOBA got his test results and the doc told him it was some abdominal cancer. All the ppl in the neighborhood were in shock. It was a very sad thing to happen. Especially to AJOBA.

But he was least bothered about it. He continued living his life as he had lived before. The only difference was that now a lot more ppl came to visit. Showly his health started failing. His body was wasting. We could only watch helplessly. My mom would cook for him twice a week. He enjoyed having something different to taste everyday.

One evening he passed away in his sleep. No one slept that night. Everyone kept staring at AJI, thinking about her, thinking about what must be going in her mind. She was too old to take decisions now.

Her daughters asked her to stay with them, but she refused. She too wants to fade away in the same house in which AJOBA did.

There are times when we talk about them. AJI has Asthama. AJOBA would take care of her when she struggled to breath during the monsoons. He would even do the washing, cleaning and cooking. She is hard of hearing but she would understand every word AJOBA blurted. I wonder what will happen next.

I find myself staring at the stream on the road just like her. We are thinking about the same thing. Only difference is that she had a lot more memories. They are the only things she lives by.

I pray to God... May they unite in heaven again. Maybe he will clean, wash, cook for her as before. Then maybe the angels will say, "They are 'Made for Each Other!'"

Identity Crisis?

I was just checking my orkut account today when i got a friend request from a guy (or maybe a gal) whose name was "living life to the fullest"

I racked my brains to recollect a certain guy or gal who introduced himself to me as "hey man. I am Living life to the fullest. Pleased to meet you"

Thats when i realised that the social networking bug is sucking the brains of ppl dry.

Whenever you update your profile, there is a First Name Field and a Last Name Field. Ppl are supposed to write Their Own First Name and Last Name in the respective places.

But i just don get it... Why the need to express yourself so explicitly when hardly a few ppl care?

And if there is an urgent need, ORKUT has a Status Field right below the name. You can change it countless times to tell whether you are eating, sleeping, or just changing yo status msg to get some rare attention!

Today a distant friend calls me and while chatting he says hez added me as a friend on orkut. I said that I din get it and then he says that hez the guyz whoz living life to the fullest!

I brainwashed him left and right, asking him whether he writes the same name on his resume or his bank cheques. But i don think he really got what i said, coz now his orkut name is "Brainwashed, But Still Living Life to the Fullest" lol

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

One more thing that bothers me is the use of absurd symbols to make up alphabets in names (i admit I have tried it too)

I was once $@UR@B# but i got over it. Can you imagine the time ppl waste in writing names in such complex manner?

And they never consider the fact that others may think of searching them by typing their Normal Names!!!

Here are few more ppl who i have to figure out!

"***$ID***" """BRING IT ON"""

† †®[]}{ă/\/† † † † Ðşøüžā † †

$@/\/KET comin bak

and on and on the list goes...