Friday, April 23, 2010

The one where I become a girlfriend.

Yup you read it right... I've not made a typo while wanting to write "I HAVE a girlfriend."

But before that have you met the Gulab Jamun Gal?

So here goes... The GJ Gal has this gang of giggling girls (alliteration!). Amongst them, shez got a best friend. Lets call her the The Choco Gal (I guess I like calling gals with food names. No matter how angry you are, you end up calling them sweetly). Usually GJG and Choco Gal are all yackety yak yak yak all the time talking about everything under the sun. Its almost impossible to imagine the amount of stuff they can speak through their teeny weeny mouths. Add to that the 'aankhon ke ishaare' conversations that they indulge in when they meet. It is as if they were created by god to give an opinion on everything and everyone.

Unfortunately (for me) it was not to last. Some days back the Choco gal got hitched with a guy from her college. We all are like Yay! Finally she got a bakra to give her lifts, and pay her bills (thats what boyfriends do right?) Everyonez happy happy about the whole thing. But soon the cloud begins to lift. Choco Gal is with the Bakra all the time and GJ Gal has no one to talk to. The gossip pressure is building up inside her and she can't wait no more.

That is when I received a sms from her. "Shoaib Malik is giving an interview on the news. Looking kind of cute."
Me thinks W00T? Shoaib? Cute? Why is she using these words while talking to me? I really wanted to give a fitting reply but I just couldn't even lie and say something like "Sania looks HAWT"
So I replied with a typical guyz kinda reply "Hez so dumb! Whats wrong with you gals anyways?"
And then she goes on to describe his nose and his sherwani and other stuff that would make me puke if I hadn't been starving all day. I went crazy thinking about whats wrong with her. More like whats wrong with me that she is talking to me like this.

Some days later I get a sms "Vijay Mallya is such dude." I reply "Yeah and he owns BOOZE!" She replies back "Hez kinda cute and nice cheeks." Now I'm freaking out. WHAT THE EFF does "CUTE" mean? I've never been able to decode this particular term my whole life. And what is she talking all this "cute" stuff with me?

So I decide to ask her "What is going on here? Why are you talking as if I'm your girlfriend?"
She: What can I do? Choco Gal is busy and you are the only one who is all ears (forcibly)
I think this could be fun to mess around with...
Me: So now that we're girlfriends, what are we supposed to talk about ? Lip Gloss? Hand Bags? Stilettos? (No cursing in the comments about this please)
She: Well lets talk about the dark spots on my face. What cream do I use?
Me: You can use some black paint. That way the spots will be camouflaged!
She: Shut up! I want to get rid of them.
Me: My net is down. Nahi to I'd have forwarded you all the beauty tips available!
She: Thanks Girlfriend! (emphasizing on the gf part) I think I like my new gf more!
Me: I dunno whether I should take this as a compliment or strangle myself.
She: Of course its a compliment. You're discovering your feminine side.
Me: W00T? I don't want no feminine side!
And on and on it went...

I'm seriously begun to doubt who the Bakra is in this case but I'm praying the Choco Gal gets back to her networking soon enough.
Coz I don't want to start my day with messages that read "Hey my girlie! Watcha doin?" To which the most I can do is blurt a "Hey sista!"


Samadrita said...

ROFL...poor you!
All I can do is offer you my sympathies.
On a different note.
Shoaib Malik is cute???O_O What the friggin' hell?
Is your 'girlfriend' sane? :P :P

Saurabh Panshikar said...

Sympathies will work just fine! Maybe shez doin the Shoaib thing just to piss me off, but MAYBE NOT!

Shilpa Garg said...

Errrr...I mean, I don't know how to react at your current status!! :D

Well, enjoy it, you'll get lots of new insights!! :)

Surbhi Jain said...

Lol... All I can say is gud luck :)

Anonymous said...

Well I am the Gulab Jamun gal.. & I find him cute... Who cares he left his wife or married someone's ex.. I don't want to marry him nor want 2know him...
He has a cute nose...
& I am sane & honest about my opinion..
& I like this new girlfriend of mine.. Gonna trouble him like hell wid my wierd girlie talks besides our normal conversations :)

Anonymous said...

& My name is DISHA........ aka the Gulab Jamun Gal... :)

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@Shilpa G
*eyes suspiciously*

Nice name you got Surbhi! Thanks for the comment. Hope to get a lot more from you...

Saurabh Panshikar said...

you are anon... How do I believe you are the GJG?

paramveer said...

hahaha......girls can smash any mind!!!

ravi said...

LOL..!!!funny post..!!

Chatterbox said...

That was a very different kind of post Saurabh, I am not very sure what to say....
Hope you have a good time and lots of fun, do try to maintain your sanity as you explore the very different world of girlfriends ;)


Megha said...

haha...enjoy ya...u could get to hear some inside stuff...girl's talk :)

Karan Shah said...

hahaha...a real difficult one to be...
may be more insights to be

Anonymous said...

haha.... actually a good one..
Teddy thanks for becoming her gf..
one thing for sure u need to be a good listener.... equally with nice remarks....

7-aTe-9 said...

this cud be interesting!! a glimpse into the world of XX chromosomes. perfumes, make-up, shoes, facials, in depth discussions of other ppl's lives-clothes-bf-gf-hair...etc. enjoy!!!

n though it pains me to say this, shoaib malik does hv a damn cute nose.:-)

Sorcerer said...

wow! that was lol to the end.

brutally honest that is..
Good work mate..
You are getting better.

Yay!! must have noticed that yay is a palindrome.

Anonymous said...

My gf is getting better wid each passing day.. From NA-NA, HA-HA to stilettos.. Progress is quite good :P

Saurabh Panshikar said...

Tru dude... Spoken like a man

Thanks a lot

Thanks a lot... Always appreciate your comments.

Yup... Maybe it'll help me deal with other gals

HEHE Thanks man..

@anon - tho choco gal
Abe you get back to normal fast... Ye mere bass ki baat nahi

Girlie terms overload! and WHAT? you 2? whats with you and shoaib!

Thanks a lot man... Great comments from great bloggers!!!
YAYAY! thats one more for you...

Destiny's child... said...

rofl post :D Cant stop laughing...really!
My guess or rather my theory: When girls say 'cute' and guys dont find it 'cute', 'cute' means ugly but adorable :p

Saurabh Panshikar said...

glad that you like the post... gladder that you laughed!
I still don't understand your 'cute' definition

Anonymous said...

Hahaha :) Wanted to read this post from a long time because of the weird title and finally read it. :)) Nice to see you become a GF :P Does this give us a chance to share whatever we find "cute" with you :D

animax1610 said...

all..i can say is.... LET THERE BE CHEAPER SMS PLANS

Saurabh Panshikar said...

no thank you! I don't wanna get stung repeatedly by your cute thoughts!

free is the word dude!

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