Saturday, November 28, 2009

55-er #4

I pass this house everyday, with a goat roaming in the compound. Shez quite friendly and always eager to play. We have become good friends now. Everyday I pat her head and she nudges me in return, wishing me a good day at work. But today shez nowhere to be found...

Eid Mubarak!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Recently I had the opportunity of traveling in a so called “Luxury” bus which was introduced during the Asian games a few years back. Now travelling in a state transport bus is not exactly was you would call “Luxurious” coz the journey is anything but that! But considering the red colored “Normal” buses that usually ply on majority of the routes, this one is definitely better! It has 2 x 2 seats and better cushions. And that’s all what differentiates luxury from normalcy.

I kept thinking about this during the whole journey and I concluded that "Luxury" is a very realtive term. On one hand there is this shabby bus that we call Luxurious and on the other there are people roaming in tailor made Rolls Royce with push-button amenities that would make even private jets blush.

For example a simple TV is a necessity for some people who can't even dream of spending a day without gossipping about Roadies, a comfort for people who barely get time to watch news and a luxury for people who haven't seen electricty light up their house in the past.

Luxury is...

  • ... Getting a place to sit in the damn bus when you've been standing all life trying to feel the presence of your limbs.
  • ... Watching a Cricket match without the ads ruining the replays and first ball of each over.
  • ... Getting a clear reception of all FM Channels when you've become used to the static and you hear it even after turning off the radio!
  • ... Riding down a calm, pothole free road when you've spent all life counting the bones in your body rattling.
  • ... Getting a breath of fresh air when the acidic smoke at signals corrodes your nostrils
  • ... Making a 10 minute call without any disconnections and network errors.
  • ... Getting the second roti served in restaurants  before the first one ends.
  • ... Not having to wait in lines for ANYTHING.
  • ... Getting all signals green when you have to reach home early (and otherwise)!
  • ... Getting all work done without having to bribe everyone from the chapraasi to the Saab.
  • ... Waking up on a Sunday morning to Coffee and Sunday Times.
  • ... Breathing freely and not getting crushed while struggling to get Ganesh Darshan at Lalbaug.
  • ... Simply having access to broadband when you've spend half your life hearing the clash/bang/trrrrrring of dial up.
  • ... Actually getting the download speeds that the ISP boasts.
  • ... Knowing that your friends care for you even though you don't have time to stay in touch.
  • ... Realising that the beautiful chick you're talking to is smart too.
  • ... Not having stupid telemarketers call you when you really need to sleep
  • ... Not losing your unsaved work when the computer reboots due to power failure.
  • ... Not being stuck behind a snail-speed bus which feeds you generous amounts of dust on the single lane road to office.
  • ... Just for once having all the staff of SBI smiling at you and seeming obliged to help you.
  • ... Knowing that the water temperature is just right when you enter the swimming pool.
 I could go on and on like this... But I'd appreciate your contribution too. So add some points of your own in the comments if you please.

Luxury or not, we all seem to want it desperately... And fast. Like its said (by me) - "You want wants, You need needs"
Plus lets face it. Its human tendency to get the best and not rest till we get the best. No wonder we are never happy and contented.

From Stuff I Learnt Today

Friday, November 20, 2009

Justice Prevails...

I am damn happy today!

Not the "Sooraj Barjatiya - All's well that ends well" type of happy, but more like the "Devilish - Revenge - Someone got screwed" kinda happy!

It goes like this. I happen to work at this cool tourism development / construction company that is located in a forest area near my place. Now its not very easy to get good people (like Yours Truly) to come from cities and work in jungles. So I have to put up with all kinds of people during my working time.

Out of these people is this dude - Mr. Laidback. Damn just the thought of him gets my fists clentched, digging into my own flesh. Well this guy has got the job as a favor to his dad who happens to work in some Govt. Office (I hate when undeserving people get the cream). But does that mean his father owns the place? HELL NO! He does act like he does. 

Firstly this guy has no sense of responsibility. There is no one on site who would think of handing him a job without fearing that he'd mess it up.

Secondly he doesn't take advice from ANYONE. Dunno why he feels that he knows everything (He doesn't) and has the right to take his own decisions.

Thirdly therez no commitment. There hasn't been a single day that he has stayed after work to complete important stuff or things that come up unexpectedly.

All these things make my blood boil underneath with rage. More considering the fact that no one cares that his contribution to the output of the company is a big fat Zero. Just when I was losing faith in the "Do good and good will be done to you" dictum, I heard that the boss summoned him to the office. He was just back from a long vacation leave, which he had left on without even informing the office. And then the fireworks began. There was shouting and screaming and OMG there was swearing too! I had a wicked devilish smile on my lips, my prayers answered! I turned into a Believer instantly.

The Boss was all over him. He told our Hero to submit a report of the work hez done in the last six months (Blank!) and told him rather sternly that its gonna be tougher in the future (The tougher, the better).

To add to it all, the guy requested me to draft a letter to apologize to the boss coz his English is not very good. I obliged with a sympathetic face!

Now I'm back to normal. Neither sad, nor joyous but slightly contented.

From gen

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Game for Game?

Recently I've been getting these "Personality Test" mails. They supposedly have a program that will tell you what you are, what you do, what you want, etc etc on basis of some selected moronic intelligent questions. Now I've been trying this stuff all the time. I don't even remember what the test says after closing the program. Heck I don't even remember what my Horoscope said this morning!

Funny thing is that usually these programs tell so much good stuff about you that its impossible to deny them! Considering all the flash programs I've run, I am Bold, Shy, Introvert, Funny, Invincible, Charming, Cool, Smart, Confident, etc etc...

While thinking about this whole idea, it dawned upon me... "How hard is it to make a stupid bluddy interesting personality test?" All you need is Common Sense! So I went on and made one right away! The first obstacle was the BASIS of the Psycho Analysis... People have so far judged me from the clothes I wear, The pets I keep, The way I sleep, Hech even the nostril I breathe thru! So I needed something silly but common enough to make my analysis!

As I jabbed my fingers repeatedly on the keyboard to prevent my Ford Eclipse from ramming into the curb, the thought struck me..... NEED FOR SPEED! What better way to judge a person than the kind of games he plays. Including all and various genres of Games would be a tough and time taking job for me (Did I mention I was Lazy?) So I'm gonna stick to NEED FOR SPEED Underground (AT least now)

Now Now... What kind of person are you? What should you be? and More importantly, What should you not be? Herez a list!

Based on the type of Race you Play:

Circuit Racing: Its racing in a closed circuit for a fixed number of laps.

You Are : Always trying to do things better. You don't mind repeating things if they are gonna turn out better. You don't get tired of the monotonous routine. In Fact you try to constantly reinvent yourself.

You Should Be : A Newspaper editor, Magazine Editor

You Shouldn't Be : A Barber (Coz the whole town will look the same)

Sprint Racing : Its racing from Point A to Point B. No repeating.

You are : Bindass and Happy Go Lucky. You live life as it comes and don't care much about the future. You love to work out your way rather than trade on experience.

You Should Be : Fighter Pilot, Teacher

You Shouldn't Be : A Speech Writer for some old Politician

Drag Racing : Its racing in a straight line where more emphasis is placed on shifting gears rather than on changing directions.

You are : Frank, Straightforward, Intense, Focused. You can see the goal that you have aimed for and you will do anything to achieve. You maybe cunning and block others lane path

You Should Be : Derby Jockey, Sprint Racer, Athlete.

You Shouldn't be : Politician (You gotta keep an eye on everyone), Goalkeeper, Strategist

Drift Racing : This is nothing but showing off your skills by drifting the car on a closed circuit track. The sharper you drift, the more points you get.

You are : Attention Grabber. You like to be the center of attraction. You like to hog the limelight constantly. You usually undergo Tummy Tucks, nose jobs, face lifts etc to keep up your face value. You are too conscious

You Should Be : Film Star, TV Star

You Shouldn't Be : Anybody's Assistant (In case you steal the attention), Accountant (Coz in Accounts they look for a different figure)

Lap Knockout : This is same like Circuit Race, But at the end of each lap, the last car is eliminated. Race continues till only one driver remains.

You are : Gruesome, Ruthless, Cunning. You only have victory in your sight and you'll do anything to get it. You don't care about eliminating  others from the rat race. You use and throw.

You Should be : A Politician, Assassin, Secret Agent

You Shouldn't be : A Public Servant, Doctor

Free Run :  This is basically a cruise around the town. There are no objectives, no targets, no timers. You just have to go around the place and roam around

You are : 1. A Loser. You don't like challenges. You fear to face life and its difficulties. You would rather live in the cheat coded world. 2. Or maybe you have too much money that you can't finish spending alone.

You should be : Dead in the first case or my best friend in the second case.

You Shouldn't be : Who Cares! Come on..... Lets find a way to spend that Cash!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Fiction 55 (3)

He felt defeated. He knew he had to save the day After all the efforts he had put in, all the pain he had suffered, these people didn’t give a damn. All his efforts wasted. He was fully exhausted. But He has to go on and do his duty. After all he is Sachin Tendulkar!

This struck me when India lost the match inspite Sachin scoring 175 runs. This shows that the team expects him to stick it out till the end if he wants to take credit for Man of the Match. Also I wont miss the chance of smirking at the 80000 FANS who bought Tickets for the game at to be held at Vashi considering the fact that Australia KO'd us and clinched the series.
Reminds me of a conversation...

Mr. Confident : Dude you want tickets for the game at vashi? I got kool passes from my company.
Me : Lets see if India stays in the series. I'l decide after that.
Mr. C : C'mon man... We gonna win. And the Vashi one too! (So much for Optimism)
Me : Dude I'l tell you later. I'll have to arrange the cash too... For the tickets.
Mr. C : You better do it fast. The tickets have been sold out on the first day itself! (Achievement?)
Me : I'll let you know as soon as possible.

After the Ill Fated Match
Mr. C : Dude Wats up?
Me : Roflol
Mr. C : Very Funny
Me : lol lol lol lol
Mr. C : The bright side is that you need not arrange the cash. Coz we're getting them free!
Me : loling so much that *CLICK*

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Mission impausable

I guess I'm on a Blogging Spree!!! All that stuff I had planned to write while my Broadband was down is oozing out of by brain!

Me and a friend have started a fitness mission from next week today. Shez into Yoga, I'm into... ummm..... errrrr....... jogging I guess. I dunno, mainly I'm into Sleep!

Now we have agreed to keep a watch on each otherz routines so that neither will go astray and/or neither will blame the other if we end up losing our minds rather than weight!

This Morning:

Gulab Jamun Gal : Hie Good Morn. Finally aaj se yoga shuru hua mera... Hoping for more improvements in myself... (like telling the truth for a change) Gd Day!

Me : Me too woke up early today! (No sign of any workout) Today we begin our tryst with a fitter destiny! And months later we'll emerge slimmer, fitter, better creatures!Cheers to That!

GJ: Hehehe... Yup. We will emerge Stronger, sexier & saucier & hope to see a better you and me... in clothes of smaller sizes... Atleast the mirror wont shy from fitting us into him lolz

Me: We could get a larger mirror! But I'm fighting till the end! And later celebrate our success with some sugar free gulab jamuns!

GJ: Yup Our fight is with the mirror. we wont give up. The sugar free Gulab Jamuns & Choc Cake is our final destination. We will reach there soon. Few months to go :-)

Now that the Oath has been taken, I just hope these months don't turn into years like most of our Govt. Projects!


Finally my Broadband is alive again! Well I use Dataone Broadband. So I have to depend on the phone lines and Dear God for a good connectivity. Dunno what went wrong with both last week. Some idiot contractor (I heard) was trying to repair the road. Till date I’ve never heard the words “road” and “repair” in the same sentence in our village before. Now I know why!

So this guy come with a huge JCB and starts to dig the road and ends up snapping most of the telephone lines in half! Well done I say, now I don’t have to worry bout my colleagues calling and irritating me with idiotic computer related questions. (“This PC is not starting, this page is not printing only re, The PC says I’m a Moron! What should I do?”)

But then it dawned upon me suddenly… No Phone = No Internet! OMG I was in a fix, din know what to do, how to survive! But I guess I scraped through it alright. Well now its back on and the officer from BSNL personally called me up to tell me the good news! Now I have lotsa mail to check, lotsa blogs to read, lotsa stuff to comment upon.

Herez a mail that I got from a friend

A black man talks to a white man:

 When I was born I was black,
 When I grew up I was black,
 When I'm sick I'm black,
 When I go in the sun I'm black,
 When I'm cold I'm black,
 When I die I'll be black.

 But you:
 When you're born you're pink,
 When you grow up you're white,
 When you're sick, you're green,
 When you go in the sun you turn red,
 When you're cold you turn blue,
 and when you die you turn purple.

 And you have the nerve to call me colored!!!

Quite something to ponder over ainit?

Well herez something else I found out. I hate it when people send stupid stuff and then they have the stupid guts to ask me forward it to my stupid friends! What Stupidity! Well forward this you psychos or face my wrath!

Check the Link below
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