This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 10; the tenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.
He sighed as he looked outside through the window of his cell. He could see the sun setting past the mountains spreading a hue impossible to create by mixing any kinds of paints on a canvas. He enjoyed this sight everyday before settling down in his dark, dinghy cell.
He had become used to the fact that he was gonna be here for a long time. Bribing, unlawful possession of secret military documents, underworld links, extortion, murder etc etc... The list went on. It was not easy being on the run all the time. The cops were chasing him and so were the crooks. He had almost pulled off what could be the biggest scam of all time in history. If only the drunk cop hadn't squeaked...
There was a time when he was all invincible. He knew the people and places. No one would dare mess with him. He kept a detailed record of everyone in the business. But it seems time has betrayed him. He lost many of his loyal men one after the other. People who he kept "Happy" were getting their share of Happiness from other places. His enemies had become all the more powerful. Besides the Police were reluctant to protect him. His family had deserted him. Maybe he saw himself in the setting sun.
At times the inmates would talk about freedom and escape. They would let their imagination run wild about the things they'd do if they escaped. Some even tried to make plans to escape sometimes. Most of these were loose shots in the air. One day a young lad planned a way to escape. It seemed foolproof. He started hunting for partners to assist him. Soon the lad came to him and asked whether he wanted to escape.
He thought for a long time. About his family who din care any more. About his friends who had turned their backs on him. About his men who were either dead or in prison. About his enemies who were after his blood. About the cops who were waiting to squeeze secrets out of him.
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48 comments:
I am impressed with your escape! (Didn't mean that you are in prison tho')
All the best for BAT 10! :))
hey thanks... checking out your entry now
Nice Post...
Prisoner + Cell = Escape outta there
but in your case..there was a TWIST in the tale!!
All the Best!! :)
Thanks Rumya
all the best to you too...
Lovely....dude... killer!!!
Hey Saurabh behind all that sense of humour I see you are a thinking ma too..Wonderful!! Short and sweet story but interesting most surely..Only one observation I cant help making:
When its such a nice story please avoid using 'gonna' 'wanna' 'din'..kills the joy of a good read (for me!)
Hope u dint mind me voicing my opinion...
All the best dost!
@Ravan
thanks man
@Vibhuti
Hey thanks for the suggestion. Will sincerely follow it from next time. Pakka! Keep them coming...
M glad that you found a new 'thinking' side to me!
That was too good, boy.
As my dad is a policeman, he always told me that for few criminals, imprisonment is the best thing that ever happened to them and now, your story told me why. :)
Good writing, once again :-) Strong emotion. brought out well.
Well written! =) At times, yes, a prison can be the best escape!
-
PS: Visit http://bit.ly/shewasenough
I kind of echo Vibhuti's sentiment - you have captured the sentiment well, but a slight attention to the choice of words would make it perfect- a good story nevertheless.
@Nethra
thanks a lot...
You could blog about some of your dad's stories... Police stories are always exciting
@pal
thanks a lot... Seen you commenting after a long time.
@TVA
Thank you... You saying as if you've very experienced! :) JK
@Gyanban
Thanks a lot. Totally agree with you...
hey nice one Saurabh..I liked the concept very much..good luck for BAT :)
aaww... sweeettt...
nice twist in the end...
all the best buddy :D
Very dark & depressing but well written. Nice one Saurabh.
when no one seems to care for us, any place where we are with ourselves seems an escape! lovely words...
Escape
as the old saying goes one man's food is another's poison. similarly one man's imprisonment is another's escape. a very different take on 'escape'. reminded me of movie 'shawshank redemption' where some prisoners get institutionalized and can not imagine life outside. best of luck for blog-a-ton
Superb story :)
Loved the concept of seeking freedom in captivity :)
Good luck for BAT 10 :D :D
Cheers!!
Unfortunately, that is true for many of us!
Good turn around and a different perspective :) Liked it!
Short yet very intelligent and well written... All the best for BATOM-10 :)
Quite a twist in the tale... an ironical one at that...
A wonderful write...
very strong emotions..
Wish u all the very best for BAT 10..
now check my entry and tell me what u think about it..
A short one..but a real stong one.
Totally impressed and liked it so much!
ALl the best for BAT10.
very nice... strong emotions and thoughts told with minimal words....
Looks like prison can be a good escape too. The more I read the entries the more confused I am on who to vote for. You kept the story short but left a good impact on the reader, me. Good work friend!
Sureindran R. - Escape
And yea, you reminded me of Prison Break!
Sureindran R. - Escape
loved the ending... :D well it made me think of ii in philosophical sense also...
well narrated :)
Nice take in unique way...
quite pragmatic and happening for more guys out there in prison...
And so are the contradictions in life... where prison becomes escape!
Reminds me of the saying "one man's food is another man's poison"...prison can be hell for most, but there may be some for whom it is actually 'free'. Great work!
Whoa! Soopar, dude, soooooopar. :)
I've always liked your writing style. Have been saying that since my very first comment on your very first post. Dunno why you suddenly fell in love with 55 fictions! :P
This one was a real treat. The last line totally rocked.
Hope to read more of such write-ups.
My dad don't narrate crime stories to me. :( but sometimes he comment about criminals while we watch news together.
nice post, it was an interesting read. keep sharing. Best to you
good 1...history says that most powerful men met this fate at one point of time or another...
Wow saurabh, that was good...the characterization was real strong.
"Maybe he saw himself in the setting sun."
That line really, really struck me.
Loved the story, and the thought that for the prisoner, the prison was the escape.
Best of luck for the B-A-T and keep writing stories like this one! :D
@saurabh:
a real different hatke post, nice atory line..the best part about it I learnt was it was really crisp, short n had a great climactic end..
Neat storyline!Glad I visited this post..All the best for B-A-T!
@ Saurabh
Definitely a big blast in a small packet!
Simply loved the narrations...so apt and wonderful twist of end with regard to the topic!
Truely worth reading post!
Thanks for a beautiful comment in my blog/post!
Wish you All the Best for BAT10 :)
~Keep the Spark ALive..
That was a good one Saurabh :) Never expected such a serious thoughtful post from you :) the twist was too good. There was definitely no point in him escaping from the prison.
short dark and awesome....nice story
Shahid
good read, nice to see you write more than 55 words :D
nice twist... loved your story saurabh... really good...
great story! held my interest throughout...well done!
well the story was one, told many a times bt definitely ur narration and d final line made d diffrnce.. nice read :)
That made for some interesting reading and the last line is the clincher!
All the best for BAT-10! :)
Good Twist and its true when you have nowhere and no one to go to then a small cell in prison can become your world.
@all
Thanks a lot folks. Really appreciate the wonderful comments. Also appreciate the frank suggestions. Well this was my first try at a fiction longer than 55 words and it seems to have worked!
Planning to write more of these in the future...
*bows*
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