Saturday, May 1, 2010

Escape







This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 10; the tenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.



He sighed as he looked outside through the window of his cell. He could see the sun setting past the mountains spreading a hue impossible to create by mixing any kinds of paints on a canvas. He enjoyed this sight everyday before settling down in his dark, dinghy cell. 

He had become used to the fact that he was gonna be here for a long time. Bribing, unlawful possession of secret military documents, underworld links, extortion, murder etc etc... The list went on. It was not easy being on the run all the time. The cops were chasing him and so were the crooks. He had almost pulled off what could be the biggest scam of all time in history. If only the drunk cop hadn't squeaked...

There was a time when he was all invincible. He knew the people and places. No one would dare mess with him. He kept a detailed record of everyone in the business. But it seems time has betrayed him. He lost many of his loyal men one after the other. People who he kept "Happy" were getting their share of Happiness from other places. His enemies had become all the more powerful. Besides the Police were reluctant to protect him. His family had deserted him. Maybe he saw himself in the setting sun.

At times the inmates would talk about freedom and escape. They would let their imagination run wild about the things they'd do if they escaped. Some even tried to make plans to escape sometimes. Most of these were loose shots in the air. One day a young lad planned a way to escape. It seemed foolproof. He started hunting for partners to assist him. Soon the lad came to him and asked whether he wanted to escape.
He thought for a long time. About his family who din care any more. About his friends who had turned their backs on him. About his men who were either dead or in prison. About his enemies who were after his blood. About the cops who were waiting to squeeze secrets out of him.

He let a long sigh and said "No. This prison IS my escape"







The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

48 comments:

Guria said...

I am impressed with your escape! (Didn't mean that you are in prison tho')
All the best for BAT 10! :))

Saurabh Panshikar said...

hey thanks... checking out your entry now

Rumya said...

Nice Post...
Prisoner + Cell = Escape outta there
but in your case..there was a TWIST in the tale!!
All the Best!! :)

Saurabh Panshikar said...

Thanks Rumya
all the best to you too...

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

Lovely....dude... killer!!!

Vibhuti B said...

Hey Saurabh behind all that sense of humour I see you are a thinking ma too..Wonderful!! Short and sweet story but interesting most surely..Only one observation I cant help making:
When its such a nice story please avoid using 'gonna' 'wanna' 'din'..kills the joy of a good read (for me!)
Hope u dint mind me voicing my opinion...
All the best dost!

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@Ravan
thanks man

@Vibhuti
Hey thanks for the suggestion. Will sincerely follow it from next time. Pakka! Keep them coming...
M glad that you found a new 'thinking' side to me!

Nethra said...

That was too good, boy.
As my dad is a policeman, he always told me that for few criminals, imprisonment is the best thing that ever happened to them and now, your story told me why. :)

writerzblock said...

Good writing, once again :-) Strong emotion. brought out well.

- The Virgin Author! said...

Well written! =) At times, yes, a prison can be the best escape!

-
PS: Visit http://bit.ly/shewasenough

Gyanban said...

I kind of echo Vibhuti's sentiment - you have captured the sentiment well, but a slight attention to the choice of words would make it perfect- a good story nevertheless.

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@Nethra
thanks a lot...
You could blog about some of your dad's stories... Police stories are always exciting

@pal
thanks a lot... Seen you commenting after a long time.

@TVA
Thank you... You saying as if you've very experienced! :) JK

@Gyanban
Thanks a lot. Totally agree with you...

Neha said...

hey nice one Saurabh..I liked the concept very much..good luck for BAT :)

megzone said...

aaww... sweeettt...
nice twist in the end...
all the best buddy :D

Magali said...

Very dark & depressing but well written. Nice one Saurabh.

Leo said...

when no one seems to care for us, any place where we are with ourselves seems an escape! lovely words...

Escape

The Fool said...

as the old saying goes one man's food is another's poison. similarly one man's imprisonment is another's escape. a very different take on 'escape'. reminded me of movie 'shawshank redemption' where some prisoners get institutionalized and can not imagine life outside. best of luck for blog-a-ton

Chatterbox said...

Superb story :)
Loved the concept of seeking freedom in captivity :)

Good luck for BAT 10 :D :D

Cheers!!

aativas said...

Unfortunately, that is true for many of us!

Vibushan L Narayan said...

Good turn around and a different perspective :) Liked it!

Dhiman said...

Short yet very intelligent and well written... All the best for BATOM-10 :)

Roshmi Sinha said...

Quite a twist in the tale... an ironical one at that...

Karan Shah said...

A wonderful write...
very strong emotions..
Wish u all the very best for BAT 10..

now check my entry and tell me what u think about it..

Yemiledu said...

A short one..but a real stong one.
Totally impressed and liked it so much!
ALl the best for BAT10.

7-aTe-9 said...

very nice... strong emotions and thoughts told with minimal words....

Sureindran said...

Looks like prison can be a good escape too. The more I read the entries the more confused I am on who to vote for. You kept the story short but left a good impact on the reader, me. Good work friend!

Sureindran R. - Escape

Sureindran said...

And yea, you reminded me of Prison Break!

Sureindran R. - Escape

Rajlakshmi said...

loved the ending... :D well it made me think of ii in philosophical sense also...
well narrated :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

Nice take in unique way...
quite pragmatic and happening for more guys out there in prison...

Saro said...

And so are the contradictions in life... where prison becomes escape!

Psych Babbler said...

Reminds me of the saying "one man's food is another man's poison"...prison can be hell for most, but there may be some for whom it is actually 'free'. Great work!

Karthik said...

Whoa! Soopar, dude, soooooopar. :)
I've always liked your writing style. Have been saying that since my very first comment on your very first post. Dunno why you suddenly fell in love with 55 fictions! :P
This one was a real treat. The last line totally rocked.
Hope to read more of such write-ups.

Nethra said...

My dad don't narrate crime stories to me. :( but sometimes he comment about criminals while we watch news together.

tikulicious said...

nice post, it was an interesting read. keep sharing. Best to you

swayambhu said...

good 1...history says that most powerful men met this fate at one point of time or another...

Megha said...

Wow saurabh, that was good...the characterization was real strong.

blabberblah said...

"Maybe he saw himself in the setting sun."
That line really, really struck me.
Loved the story, and the thought that for the prisoner, the prison was the escape.

Best of luck for the B-A-T and keep writing stories like this one! :D

PRAVIN NAIR said...

@saurabh:

a real different hatke post, nice atory line..the best part about it I learnt was it was really crisp, short n had a great climactic end..

Neat storyline!Glad I visited this post..All the best for B-A-T!

Rachana Shakyawar said...

@ Saurabh

Definitely a big blast in a small packet!

Simply loved the narrations...so apt and wonderful twist of end with regard to the topic!


Truely worth reading post!

Thanks for a beautiful comment in my blog/post!
Wish you All the Best for BAT10 :)

~Keep the Spark ALive..

evanescentthoughts said...

That was a good one Saurabh :) Never expected such a serious thoughtful post from you :) the twist was too good. There was definitely no point in him escaping from the prison.

shahid said...

short dark and awesome....nice story

Shahid

Murali said...

good read, nice to see you write more than 55 words :D

Chanz said...

nice twist... loved your story saurabh... really good...

Mehak said...

great story! held my interest throughout...well done!

Vipul Grover said...

well the story was one, told many a times bt definitely ur narration and d final line made d diffrnce.. nice read :)

Shilpa Garg said...

That made for some interesting reading and the last line is the clincher!
All the best for BAT-10! :)

Vikas Khair said...

Good Twist and its true when you have nowhere and no one to go to then a small cell in prison can become your world.

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@all
Thanks a lot folks. Really appreciate the wonderful comments. Also appreciate the frank suggestions. Well this was my first try at a fiction longer than 55 words and it seems to have worked!
Planning to write more of these in the future...
*bows*

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