Saturday, March 6, 2010

Time Travel



This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 8; the eighth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.



He watched the lifeless form of his wife being cremated. He wanted to go back in time to repair every mistake. He hadn't thought about it then, drunk and frustrated. Now a huge lump had formed in his throat. His wife had got punished for his mistake. If only he had used protection.





With this 55-er I'd like to bring to notice that many 'loyal' women get infected with HIV by their husbands unknowingly. What is worse is the fact that their character is doubted when the tests show +ve. They end up losing their lives and honour for the sake of their men.







The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

59 comments:

Abhilash Ruhela said...

hmm.nice fiction story man..nice message luved it....Very good..u really write good short blogs in the fiction category..U r best at it..in writing short and sweet..I dont know whether u following my blogs or no..but Im following urs..

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...

Oh... dis a nice short and sweet story..

damm...poor wife!!

Vibhuti B said...

Hey thats a very conscientious 55 and indeed does justice to the topic. If wishes were a time machine people would travel back and change things out of repentance!

Megha said...

55 words madhe khoop mothi story lihilis tu..good work :)

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@Abhi
Thanks man... Will get back to you soon

@Ravan
Thanks man... you know I prefer calling you Ravan! its a cool name. Especially with an extra R, rolling the tongue and all...

@Vibhuti
thanks a lot for the comment, visit and views.

@Megha
kiti kami shabdanmadhe kiti chhaan comment dilis tu... Thanks a lot.

Megha said...

it was my 55 comment :)

evanescentthoughts said...

Good one. poor wife. Good he realized!!

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@evanescentthought
Thank you

Arjun said...

Kudos to you for writing on his subject......

The fiction part is good and well written.. :)

Cheers..!!
Arjun

Mehak said...

good choice of topic. and i like the way its written...though it's sad..:(

Chanz said...

This was quite sweet.. Really sweet...

You are good saurabh.. I wish I could write fiction 55 like u..

Chanz said...

hey btw, can u somehw increase the font size of the comments.. or maybe increase the colour scheme.. its really very difficult to read like this.. :(

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@Arjun
Thanks a lot.

@Mehak
Thanks for appreciating

@Chanz
Thanks a lot... I'm sure you could... But you're too busy sketching these days!
And I'm trying to increase the font size, but m getting lost in this whole html stuff

Tavish Chadha said...

dude!!! The ending was really unexpected... i thought may be he killed her after coming home drunk or something... never expected the HIV angle... brilliant... really liked it... yaar teach me how to write a F55... i find it really difficult... :(

Cheer!
Tavish
Blog: Sensible Bakwas

Neha said...

nice one Saurabh..well presented :)

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@tavish
thanks man... glad that you liked it...
and don't be so modest... You write good stuff

@Neha
Thank you

Yemiledu said...

Hey nice 55 fiction and a nice take on time travel!!

Even if he used Protection ...there are a lot many chances of passing on the infection...

Nice one dear! Was actually expecting a short story..but seems 55 fictions rule your and our heart ;~)

Yemiledu said...

Hey nice 55 fiction and a nice take on time travel!!

Even if he used Protection ...there are a lot many chances of passing on the infection...

Nice one dear! Was actually expecting a short story..but seems 55 fictions rule your and our heart ;~)

Saro said...

Sad but true. HIV is a stigma, and a more horrible one for women. That being said, I suppose more and more stories like so, will help remove the stigma around this disease.

And around sex too.

All the luck for BATOM :)

Karthik said...

A very sensitive topic brought out so effectively, and that too in just under 55 words! Too good, dude.
All the best for BATOM! :)

Sunaina said...

Yes. Guys should take protection even if they are drunk. :P
Hey even he will die soon, won't he?
Nice story. :)
All the best for BAT-8! :)

Nethra said...

Yes. Guys should take protection even if they are drunk. :P
Hey even he will die soon, won't he?
Nice story. :)
All the best for BAT-8! :)

Nethra said...

Silly me! I pasted Sunaina's comment. I wonder why. :-/
Sorry, sunaina.
Anyway, it was a nice story. :)

- The Virgin Author! said...

Very well written. Truly depicts how a 55Fiction too can move you, and make you learn some important stuff, eh!? :P All the best for BATOM!

PS: http://bit.ly/aliensandme

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@yemiledu
I agree but this is what I could come up with...
Please don't find faults until the voting is over ;-)

@Saro
Ya you said exactly what was in my mind when I wrote this. Thank you

@Karthik
Thanks man

@Sunaina
Thank you... I agree with you

@Nethra
Something seems fishy!

@TVA
Thanks a lot... Checking your link out

Mohan said...

Good one.. you seem to have excelled in short 55ers ;)
I haven't given a try at blog-o-ton.. let me try in future ;)

Parth J Dave said...

Wow, Saurabh..Your post is touching and beautiful!

You've done a great job with 55-Fiction. The arrangemet of words just look like poetry, placed to perfection.

Great going, buddy and All the Best for BATOM-8!

swayambhu said...

the way u interpreted the topic is really nice......gr8 way of sending out a mssg.

Raksha Raman said...

Well looks like Saurabh is on his way to be the King of 55-er! We already have the queen(Shruti) and now the king!

Sad that the lady in the story had to bear the brunt :(..Good one Saurabh!

Mural! said...

dude you write very good and effective 55=ers!
nice way you handled the topic of time travel and blended it with a social message :)

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@Mohan
Thanks man... Do check my other attempts by clicking on the label

@Parth
thanks man for the wonderful comment

@swayambhu
Thanks a lot... Glad that you liked it.

@RR
OMG thats the sweetest comment i could get... Actually i was like praying that some1 would say something like that... (even planning to bribe people)

@Murali
Thanks man... your comments always matter

IIM ka Sarkari Babu said...

Not abt winning, but this post did touch a few hearts... Good that you addressed this issue... Keep blogging!

Sureindran said...

You have reminded us once again about HIV, which is a good thing. And it's a well written 55. Good luck!

Leo said...

a very nice message in 55 words! you did the theme complete justice! Well done...

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@IIM ka Sarkari Babu
You mean I won't win? Not cool babu!
JK. Thanks for the comment... glad that the post is heart touching

@Sureindran
Err... Thanks but your comment confuses me... I wonder if its sarcastic...

@Leo
thanks a lot... Glad that you like it!

rashmi said...

Saurabh that the gift of loyalty most of the women get because as per hindu tradition PATI PARMESHWAR HAI. Not to doubt his character.

Harsha Chittar said...

liked the story and loved the thought behind the story, good one!!

Mahesh Kalaal said...

Wow.....contemporary, happening, pragmatic, rational and quite objective.....nice one :)

Mahesh Kalaal said...

Wow.....contemporary, happening, pragmatic, rational and quite objective.....nice one :)

Prashant said...

A socially meaningful post. Nice work.

Chatterbox said...

Wonderful message in 55 words :)
Keep up the good work Saurabh.

Cheers!!

Sorcerer said...

nice..well said in few words! :)
cool

The Fool said...

Really amazing how you have framed a coherent story that too with a social message within 55 words. Hats off to you.

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@Rashmi Mam
Well said mam... Right on the spot!

@Harsha
Thanks a lot

@Mahesh
Thanks man... Appreciate your comment

@Prashant
Thanks a lot..

@CB
Thank you... Cheers

@Sorcerer
Thanks mate... Good to have you back

@The Fool
thanks a lot for the gr8 comment.

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dilontherocks said...

Nice one! Wish there were more words to elaborate on the feelings though :)

Makk said...

Blog A ton...made me be among wise people. Conveying superb messages in superb words.

Keep it up.

Nethra said...

Hey, what's so fishy? It was an honest mistake.
I hope Sunaina doesn't mind.

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@Dilontherocks
He he... Maybe next time... thanks anyways

@Makk
Thats might nice of you... God bless BAT. Thanks for the comment

@Nethra
He he was just kidding... I was wondering how you copied, pasted and submitted the comment all unknowingly...

Nethra said...

I was suppose to copy text from my chat window. I'd typed the comment there because the comment window was taking time to load. I don't know how I ended up copying Sunaina's comment.

Blogger said...

a big message shortly conveyed ! that too in 55 words ! Great man ! All the best :)

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@Blogger
thanks a lot for the comment

Rajlakshmi said...

wow that was brilliant ... the ending was bang on... brilliantly written ...
message so wonderfully delivered.

Chetan said...

nice one
didn't expect the message out of it

akanksha said...

hey good one...check my orkut videos...its a song starring mandira bedi,called-mati and ur time travel story is a gist i suppose...

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@Rajlakshmi
Thanks a lot for the wonderful comment

@Chetan
Thanks a lot. Glad that you liked it.

@Akanksha
i'l do that... thanks anyways

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Magali said...

Strong & hard hitting. Very well written.

Saurabh Panshikar said...

@Magali
wow you're on a commenting spree!
Thanks a lot

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