The Clue

A car pulled into the driveway and screeched to a halt. She went outside to see who it was. Surprised to see her husband arrive so soon, she went down the steps to greet him.

He didn't seem in a mood to acknowledge her smile. She felt something was wrong. Seriously wrong... She decided not to ask and anger him further and followed him back to the house.

"You two timing bitch", he shouted. This sudden exclamation scared the hell out of her. She felt the color drain out of her face. But she decided she won't give up.

"Whats the matter? And why the language?" she asked in a calm tone.

"I had heard stories about you, but I was too much in love to believe them." His tone went from anger to remorse. She felt her feet trembling now but she still managed to put up a confident face.

"I won't take any more of that language now. So calm down and tell me whats wrong." She felt amazed at how calm and composed she could be. The acting classes in college had definitely helped.

"I don't give a damn. You cheated on me and you still have the guts to stand in front of me asking me to stay calm.", his eyes were fiery when he spoke this.

"What the hell are you talking about? I am not cheating on you. How in hell did you think I would do such a thing?" Her voice was rising as well.

"Just shut your mouth. This time I am dead sure that a boy has been visiting this house when I am out. You got yourself a toy now? Is that what this has come to?", He yelled.

She felt a cold shiver run down her spine as he heard these words. How did he come to know about her toyboy? She had destroyed all evidence that could lead back to her adulterous romps. She thought about the sheets and curtains and remember she had changed them. Maybe he was just taking a wild guess. Should she surrender? She decided to play on...

"I don't know what the hell you are talking about and I am not going to take anymore of this now. If you show me even one piece of evidence, I'll happily go to the gallows. The cost of loving my husband truly!"

"You don't need no gallows. Coz I'm gonna slit your throat right here right now.", Saying this, he started wandering around the house searching for clues. She had been clever to cover it all up. Not a single piece of evidence that would link to the presence of another male in this house. He went from the living room to the bedroom. But no use. She had cleaned up the trail very cleverly. He went for room to room, then the toilets and staircases and finally checked the wardrobes.

Till then she kept waiting in the living room cursing now and then at him, at her bad luck, at the person who had told him about this affair. Deep inside she was trembling as she thought about the consequences if he found anything on her.

After a few minutes he came back, his face flashing a wicked vicious smile. "You better confess or this is gonna cost you a big time."

She realized her time was up. She confessed to everything. He demanded a divorce and she meekly agreed. After a few months, they met to sign the papers. After putting her signatures she finally gathered up the courage to ask him, "How did you find out about it? I mean I was pretty sure I had cleaned out all traces."

 

"Simple", He smirked. "The toilet seat was up!"

 

Lagaan - Review

This post has been published by me as a team member of Tiger Trails Team for the SUPER 3  round of Bloggers Premier League (BPL) – The first ever unique, elite team blogging event in the history of blogging world. To catch the BPL action and also be part of future editions and other contests, visit and register at Cafe GingerChai

Hello Readers...

Considering the Roar that The Sunday Roar caused last week we have the pleasure of introducing another segment to our Magazine: "Movie Time with Griz Jones". As you may be aware, Griz is a well known Hollywood critic and his reviews are highly appreciated. Unfortunately this week there were no 'foren fillums' showing, so Griz went on to see a Bollywood film. Lets see how he deals with it.

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“Is it finally over?” Well those were my exact thoughts when I saw the end credits roll on the screen of this Bollywood splendor called Lagaan. I mean I have seen some long movies before but this one was one big cricket test match and guess what... It depicts the very same thing. I won't deny the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience, but being a Hollywood critic, I am not used to being seated for 4 hours and have more than one genre thrown at me now and then.


The Director, Mr Govarikar is a patiently patient man I must say. It must have taken him ages to make this movie considering the fact that it is so damn long. I almost embarrassed myself by trying to leave the theater during intermission. Well I thought the movie was finished till the words “intermission” flashed onto the screen. Meekly I sat down again to watch the rest of it, which was an action-packed and nerve wrecking telecast of a cricket match.

Lagaan (Tax) is the story about a man in pre-independent India, his struggle to live a free life, his love for a village belle, and his unbelievable talent in a game that he learns at breakneck speed.

Its starts with a village in India parched for rains. A bleak view of dark clouds sends the whole village in song and dance frenzy. I looked around the theater and was surprised to see other patrons swinging to the music and lip syncing the song. I guess I was the only one who was alarmed at the sudden rush of song and dance. I make a note to myself that I need to beware of these Indian movies. I have already heard that actors (or heroes as they're called) get shot in the beginning of the movie and still manage to live throughout the movie without any medical attention. Meanwhile they kill villains with just a deadly stare. But for this young man named Bhuvan, the weapon of choice is the cricket bat.

The movie has lots and lots of characters including British officers who try to speak ‘owfull’ Hindi and succeed; the hero's mother without whom any Bollywood movie is incomplete, 10 different blokes who make up the cricket team, each weirder than the other; two beautiful ladies trying to win over our boy Bhuvan and countless other villagers. Each character plays his part dutifully and adds variety to the movie. Funnily, being a Hollywood critic, I didn’t even know these many characters could exist!

The lead actress is Miss Gracy Singh who plays the love interest of our Hero. She prances around, in and out of the movie at the director’s will. Obviously Indian Cinema has to grow up and start having Women-oriented movies now. As usual there is no firm role for the actress. All she does is dance around trees, and feel jealous of the white lady who falls for boy wonder! There is no going out, no dating and definitely no sleeping around like Hollywood movies. This goes on to prove the popularity of cricket in India. People will come to watch a movie even if there is no hanky-panky but a good deal of cricket in it.

No Bollywood movie is complete without the presence of the Quintessential Maa or Mother. The Mother of the lead actor has to play a part in the movie. Otherwise Indians do not relate to it, call it an Art film and trash it. The Mother is not allowed to wear anything other than a white Saree. She is supposed to be worried about her son 24/7 and she is supposed to pray to God for most of those 24 hours. In this movie too, the mother follows all these rules to the T. I would rather not mention the motherly characters of Hollywood over here.

The most hilarious part of the movie is the casting of the team. It is agreeable that the village is shown to be small, but the creative director has succeeded in putting maximum number of jokers in the team. The selection is done by Captain Bhuvan himself and that too without any trials. I must salute the observatory powers of this actor. He has an eye for talent. The drummer becomes the fast bowler. The crippled guy becomes a spinner. Bats are carved out of wood by the carpenter and everything simply falls into place.
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The second half(!) of the movie revolves around the cricket match. I have come to know that Indians are fast learners. Well they seemed to learn the sport very fast. The weird words that they used for cricketing terms were funny I guess as the other patrons were rolling with laughter. Meanwhile I had surrendered to the mercy of subtitles. A religious song was pushed in too at end of day’s play in order to get blessings for the team. I strongly suggest no one look at the subtitles during songs because they are plain crazy. It is better to sway and hum along.

Most of the credit of the movie goes to our Hero Bhuvan. It has to! After all, he played his first match, directly as a captain, made a century, and hit a winning sixer (home run) to win the match and relieve his village from paying Tax for three years. Well now I know why they call him the Hero.

The story, screenplay and music has been top notch. Trust A. R. Rahman to do a good job. The camerawork is great too. Only thing missing is the Swiss backdrop that is usually used in Bollywood movies. But as this one had to be made in a village, maybe the director decided to shoot it in India itself (which happens very rarely)

But the movie also touches the Indian-ness of Indians. It showcases their respect for others, their belief in god, their attitude to dare beyond, and mostly prominently it shows their faith. And this faith is not only put across to the viewer, it is almost imbibed on the mindset of the viewer. The director and the crew end up doing a splendid job. I would highly recommend people to watch this movie albeit with a small instruction – Take a bathroom break before it starts!

Know Me - Tag

Yay I got tagged! By none other than Meghana! Now how cool is that! In this tag, supposedly, I have to write few things about myself that you people may now know.

But firstly following the Blogger code of conduct, I have to say goody goody things about Meg...

Meg is this bubbly, zany, sweet gal who writes great poems on her blog Megzone. She writes nice poems with minimum words effortlessly. Most importantly, her poems are easy to understand. She is a great networker and has a huge fan following. She participates in almost all the contests in the Blogverse and manages to keep in touch with all her virtual friends.

I remember Chanz had tagged me with a similar Honest Scrap Tag. So a few things about her too... Chandni is a frank and no-nonsense blogger. She blogs about life from her eyes, but really writes from her heart. I've been away from her blog for a while but going back once I finish with this.

OK now that thatz done, lets do the tag...

Doing such tags is not an easy job for me. It involves a lot of introspection and thinking. Add to that the fact that I am plain lazy. So gals, that is why I am taking this one so late.

1. I find it very hard to say 'no' to people. It gets me into trouble sometimes, but i just can't help it.
2. I am highly adjustable with people and surroundings. I can put up with any kind of people without cribbing. Same way, i don't have a problem adjusting to new places... That makes me the ultimate employee ainit?!
3. I love living in a village than living in a city... I really don't care if i do not get all the comfy amenities... I secretly wish some one leaves me an inheritance of 25-30 buffaloes. I'd give up everything and get into livestock bijness!
4. I really really don't care for money. Till date I have seen a lot of money come and go... So I'd rather have a moderate income and more time on my hands than loads of money but no time to spend it...
5. Phew only 4 done? Man this is tough!
6. I think birth and death is highly overrated. Some of my friends think its a sin to forget birthdays... Well I'm going to hell for sure. And I feel everything has to come to an end. People die... Deal with it. Their time was up. So they had to go... You crying for ages and skipping dinner is not going to bring them back...
7. I just hate changing cellphones and numbers. Its a real pain keeping track.
8. I pity people who take life too seriously.
9. I simply love to text people. Texting is my twitter. But i feel sad when people don't reply. I mean if I spent so much time typing that stuff, least you can do is acknowledge it by giving a ring.
10. Finally... I expect very little from life in general. I'm a thorough optimistic. Maybe that is why people find me a little too happy.

Now comes the tagging part... Well this is an open tag... Anyone is free to take it... The more interesting the better... Just leave a link at the bottom when you do...

Mere Pass Maa ka Interview Hai!

This post has been published by me as a team member of Tiger Trails Team  for the SUPER 4 round of Bloggers Premier League (BPL) – The first ever unique, elite team blogging event in the history of blogging world. To catch the BPL action and also be part of future editions and other contests, visit and register at Cafe GingerChai

It was one of those days. My editor had sent me to interview a weird personality again. It was not a problem for me, I'd done loads of interviews of variety of people from drunk superstars to sleeping beauties (!) But this was a tricky one for me. Loaded, maybe overflowing with emotion and tears, the quintessential Bollywood ki Maa was my interviewee!

I'd grown up watching Bollywood movies, but the Maa factor had always fascinated me. So I was looking forward to it as well. I reached the Haveli that she lived in and rung the bell (I was wondering if I should cry "MAAAAAAA" instead!)

She opened the door in a Tide-ki-safedi-white saari. It got me thinking about my own mom in flashback. (maybe its the bollywood effect). She invited me in and I followed her inside into the Haveli.

 

Wondering how to address her I simply said, “Hi Maa”
Just then she broke into tears all the while repeating her signature “Tumne mujhe Maa kaha!” at least 5 times. Oh God! this was not going to be easy!

We then started the interview. I asked her about her childhood to which I got a stunning reply. She did not have a childhood at all! She was directly born a Maa. I asked her how it was possible, to which she explained that every director wants to focus on the Hero’s childhood (at least in flashback) but there was no reference to the Maa’s childhood. After-all she had lived her whole life in the movies. She has no separate existence.

This was beginning to get all the more interesting. I decided to go for some serious grilling now...

Me: So how has life been for you in general? I mean you are not the usual  everyday human being you know.
Maa: Believe me beta it has been tough. I’ve gone blind 13 times only to get back my eyesight from the lights of Sai Baba’s mandir. Believing in God has been one of the greatest principles of my life.

Me: Oh I can imagine the agony you must have been through.
Maa: You never can. I’ve undergone surgeries all over the world with no time to recuperate because the next film is always waiting. Plus most of the time I was made to travel on foot, so my back hurts as hell. Its not easy being a mother you see...

Me: What do you think about Hollywood then?
Maa: Hollywood moms have the easiest life out there. Wearing Gucci and YSL and what not while I’m tied up to this white Saree all the time only because my husband had to die so that my son could live. Hollywood moms sleep around all the time. But I’m a strict Pativrata. I don’t like all these things.

Me (a bit uncomfortable now): But people all over the world salute the Bollywood Maa...
Maa: Why shouldn’t they? I’m one poor suffering soul who lives for others. I’m bound to be worshiped. Considering the god-forbidden-things their moms do, I’m like an epitome of purity.

Me: So true... So tell me some interesting incident from your reel life.
Maa: (smirks) As if I have a Real Life! Well once these people from a NGO crashed onto the sets to complain about my crying on screen. They said that most of the area was suffering from droughts and I was crying buckets on screen. People had even stopped crying because they couldn’t afford to lose anymore water. The director had to halt shooting for two days. I was so relieved that I’d get two days off, but at that moment itself my son returned home with a tattoo that said “Mera Baap Chor Hai”. Imagine my frustration, having to roam from laser clinic to laser clinic to find someone who could get rid of it, but all in vain. Finally the director decided to use it in the movie itself!

Me: (Eyebrows raised) Oh so that was how it..... Umm never mind. Lets talk about the famous Gajar ka Halwa now.
Maa: DON'T YOU DARE! You people have taken me for granted! You leave the poor me and get lost somewhere for years and then return and expect me to whip up some halwa in a jiffy? Are Gajar ka season bhi nahi hai ab to! Plus there is no sugar in the house.

Me: I was not asking you to make it.
Maa: Then it ok. These day everyone is asking me about it. So I got a little worked up. Sorry. I feel I’ve made more halwa in my life than the nukkad wala halwai himself! Sometimes he even asks if I got any surplus left!

Me: Oh OK never mind. So what have you been up-to lately? Movies are changing fast these days. You finding it easier to adapt?
Maa: Not a bit. Its been a long journey for me. These days mom’s don’t get much roles in movies. So I’m kinda jobless most of the time.Plus these days the director makes me wear negligees and seduce older men, which frankly I find disgusting. Before the only worry was whether my Beta will come home alive. Now I have to worry about his sexual orientation as well. I thank God if he is straight. But when I see him clinging to another guy, I see 9 months of my life go down the drain! Its not easy to swallow you see. I mean the Truth is not easy to swallow. (winks)

With these words she gets me a cup of tea. I say “Are itni kyu taklif ki” to which she get dramatic again and say “Bete ke liye banai hai. Isme taklif kaisi?” I make a mental note to be aware of potential words that may spark her emotions.

We return to the interview.
Me: Lets talk about your Bahus now.
Maa: (sighs) I’ve spent my whole life in the movies. I wonder why my sons believe I can’t spot their acting... I see these gals struggling to carry of those Sarees they are wearing. Hell they can’t even bend to touch my feet without showing off some or the other part of their bodies. Jo umar bhar bikini pehente ayi ho, woh ek din mein saaree kya pehenegi! Sometimes I think they’re just in for my sons’ money. But after all it is all about mere bete ki khushi. So usually I keep my thoughts to myself and agree to the proposal. Waise bhi they can’t cook mera wala Gajar ka Halwa!

Me: And your Betas?
Maa: Mostly I’ve been blessed with good sons. Even if they go rogue during the movie, they become good at the end. Sab bollywood ki maya hai! But these days I’m worried. I see lot of these vrudhhashrams running these days. Before it was not a problem. But now I fear even my sons may consider putting me in one of those. So I’m planning for the future. But its next to impossible to work out these new insurance company plans.

Me: Speaking of the future... What are your future plans?
Maa: As I told you... Films these days do not need the Maa character at all. Hell time will come when even the lead actress will become obsolete. But I haven’t thought much into the future right now. Maybe I get a nice retirement and spend the rest of my days relaxing in this haveli. (Looks out of the window)

Me: Are you expecting someone?
Maa: Mere Karan Arjun ayenge. I had asked them to get a plumber to fix the bathroom pipes. So waiting for them. But Mere Karan Arjun jaroor ayenge!

Me: Last question. Do you have any message for the people of today?
Maa: Tum to mere bete jaise ho... Only thing I would like to say is: Stay good to your parents. Don’t act in any way that would hurt them or make them repent of the time they gave birth to you. The same way, as myself, even the Earth is your mother. So take care that you do not hurt her in any way (I’m surprised how she inserted the Green element so effortlessly! Now that will win some brownie points!) Tumne achha kiya to tumhara achha hi hoga.

The last line touched me and I decided to follow it in my life too. Saying goodbye to Maa was not easy. She came to see me off at the doorstep and I could see tears in those eyes. Suddenly I felt my heart get heavy. I hugged her and promised her that I’ll be back soon, not giving a date, making her wait, like she always does for all her sons. It had been the best interview of my life and the first thing I want to do it thank my editor for letting me do it.


Here is our magazine: Click on the image to download the pdf version.

Check out the works of the great minds of the people behind The Sunday Roar.

Debosmita’s in-depth article on the Bhopal Gas Tragedy
http://debosmita.wordpress.com/2010/06/28/cover-story/

Sudhakar’s racy account of ‘The Domestic Olympics’
http://idlivadasambar.wordpress.com/2010/06/28/the-domestic-olympics/

Sudhakar’s intriguing thriller (crime fiction)
http://idlivadasambar.wordpress.com/2010/06/28/the-garage-door/

Neha’s unique limerick on Indian politics,
http://www.nehasilam.com/2010/06/future-not-so-bright.html

Pallavi’s quick comic/55-er on power of media
http://writerzblock.wordpress.com/2010/06/27/breaking-news-again/

Rashmi’s interesting travel journal – City City Bang Bang
http://hungrypiranha.blogspot.com/

Kanagu’s analysis of Print Versus Electronic media
http://kanaguonline.wordpress.com/

The Dark Lord - 55-er

The Dark Lord rose to stark silence. He looked around as his followerss bent down on their knees and he felt a sense of immortality flowing through his veins. There was probably not a single thing that he couldn't do. He simply had done it all. And the Lifetime Achievement Award goes to Rajnikanth!

PS: I'm aware that there is at least one typo in the post, but as Rajnikant's keyboard doesn't have a backspace key, I'm keeping it that way!

Thanks Meg for the pic.